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Commit to Better Love, Sex, and Romance Now

By on January 25, 2012

With the passing of 2011, we should consider doing things differently in 2012. Every year we make promises to ourselves, our family and friends  that this is the year we will hold true to make personal changes. Not long after the year has started, we often return to the same behaviors and attitudes that prompted us to make empty New Year’s Resolutions in the first place. Well, this year is going to be different and better romantically!

Unlike 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008, etc., we are finally going to create a better romantic relationship with our partners and I am going to offer 3 changes that you should definitely consider embracing.

Romantic Resolution #1

I am going to be creative, spontaneous, and imaginative!

This is the year that you will commit to every week  inviting your partner to be sexually intimate with you somewhere other than the “usual” place and time that you two are together . What I am suggesting is that you take advantage of the other rooms in your house, the garage, the shower, the patio, the bathroom, the kitchen table, hotel down the road, etc. because you deserve to have “contextual variety” in your sex life. I am also suggesting that you should invite your partner to be sexually intimate with you at different times during the day and getting out of the routine of having sex at the same time on the same days of each week. Meeting for an afternoon rendezvous during lunchtime; passionate kissing before walking in the house together from the car; or even a morning/evening “quickie” can add spice to an otherwise monotonous relationship. Use your imagination and be willing to be spontaneous to create the sex life you deserve!

Romantic Resolution #2

I am going to be romantically flexible and open!

“No.” “No.” “No.” The only thing you have told your partner for months or years is “No.” Over time, you have become bored and restless because you have placed so many limitations and restrictions on romance that you have been unfulfilled for a long time. Well, this year is going to be different because you are going to be more open and flexible with being romantically intimate. Embracing this resolution can allow you to experience different activities, events, and encounters that you might not have otherwise known about had you not been open. Reading risqué poetry to your partner before bed; listening to sexy music while taking a bath together; feeding each other “dessert” after dinner (wink); or using lotion or oils for intimate massages while watching your favorite television show or movie can create a greater intimacy between the two of you. Be open to doing things a little differently in 2012.

Romantic Resolution #3

I am going to be express myself appropriately AND be willing to LISTEN in 2012.

Tell your partner how much you appreciate and enjoy kissing him or her; share with your partner how much you like it when he or she kisses you in that “special place”; communicate with your partner about how you fantasize about being with him or her in way that you two haven’t been before. Be willing to reveal your innermost desires and be willing to listen.

Now that the new year has started, be positive that you and your partner can romantically change and grow together. Develop and maintain an optimistic attitude that your romantic experiences with one another can be as sexy and exciting as you would like for them to be if you only push your relationship to be different/better than it has been in 2011, 2010, 2009, and so on.


Dr. James Wadley is an Associate Professor and Director of the Master of Human Services Program at Lincoln University. He is a licensed professional counselor and marriage, family, and sexuality therapist in the States of Pennsylvania and New Jersey. He recently wrote, The Lost and Found Box. You can learn more about him at drjameswadley.com.

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