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Surviving Sexual Performance Anxiety
Let’s face it guys, who among us have’nt had some anxiety about being satisfactory in the bedroom. If it’s gotten to the point of constant worry over your appearance or ability in bed, sex can be a source of stress versus pleasure. You might even be avoiding sex.
Because sex is emotional as it is physical and when the brain is stressed, your body cannot get motivated either. Sexual performance anxiety is real, no matter what age, race, sexual orientation, or religion.
Common Causes of Sexual Performance Anxiety
- Fear that you won’t satisfy your partner sexually.
- Poor body image, including concern over your penis size.
- Difficulties in your relationship or at work.
- Concern about ejaculating prematurely or taking too long to reach orgasm.
- A preoccupation about lack of experience or pleasing partner.
These anxieties cause your body to launch a response called “fight or flight. Your mental state can have a big impact on your ability to get aroused. Even if you’re with someone who you find sexually attractive, worrying about whether you’ll be able to please your partner can make it a chore to get it on.
One of the effects of the stress hormones is to constrict blood vessels. Less blood flowing into the penis makes it more difficult to have an erection. Even men who normally don’t have any trouble getting excited can become unable to get an erection when they’re overcome by sexual performance anxiety.
How to Overcome Sexual Performance Anxiety
See a doctor right away, maybe a specialist if needed. The doctor can examine you and do some tests to make sure a health condition or medication isn’t causing your sexual performance issues. During the exam the doctor will ask about your sexual history to find out how long you’ve had sexual performance anxiety and what kinds of thoughts are interfering with your sex life. Medications and other therapies can help treat erectile dysfunction and other sexual problems that are physical. If it’s not a medical issue, there are other options:
Talk to a therapist. Connect with a counselor or therapist who is experienced in treating sexual issues.
Be open and honest with your partner. Talking with your partner about your anxiety can help ease your worries. Trying to reach a solution together might actually bring you closer as a couple and improve your sexual relationship.
Expand ways you are intimate. There are many ways to be intimate without actually having sex. Give your partner a sensual massage or take a warm bath together. Take turns pleasing each other with masturbation so you don’t always have to feel pressured to perform.
Exercise. Not only will working out make you feel better about your body, but it will also improve your stamina in bed.
Performance anxiety is real and if neglected it could take root in your relationship and create a big problem. Take the time to talk with your partner, a doctor if necessary, and give yourself permission to relax and release the stress as you address this issue. Finding the right strategy for you could be quick or it might take a bit of trial and error. Remember if it’s not a medical issue, it’s all in your head.